Overwhelmed....With Love

I love my kids....BUT....sometimes they drive me absolutely crazy!

Yesterday was one of those days. Zoey is 3 1/2 and Kylie will be 2 next week. I'm sure there are scientific explanations for why they act the way they do at this age. Most likely there are books I could read about it and insight I could obtain from studies done about the toddler brain and what causes them to be obstinate, disobedient, defiant and just downright naughty. But when in the world between changing diapers, spankings, timeouts and trying to single-handedly keep my children from killing themselves and each other am I ever supposed to read any of these enlightening books? Alas, I must be destined to raise two completely adorable, yet often rotten children.

Wait a minute...am I talking about my children, or myself??

Because although I see myself oftentimes as my children obviously think of themselves (adorable, sweet, innocent, lovable) I am most definitely just as innately obstinate, disobedient, defiant and just downright naughty as they are.



That is why my Heavenly Father amazes me so. With my girls, I can try my best to deal with them justly and in love, but I am human. I fail. I get frustrated. Overwhelmed. Angry. Fed up. And then, like most normal mothers I know, I lose it. I overreact and become motivated by my anger or frustration rather than by love. I yell a little too loud. I place blame without finding out the whole story. I give in and let them do what they want instead of holding firm to our rules.

Being a parent is hard. That is why I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father. You see, many times, I am that obstinate, disobedient child. But unlike me, my Father never overreacts. He never gets overwhelmed or fed up with me. He chooses see past my wrong actions and see the daughter He loves. And although he disciplines as all parents must, He does it in love. He is love. He doesn't lose His temper and yell at me. He doesn't pin blame on me. He loves. He disciplines. He forgives. And as a daughter, I love Him for it.



Oh, that I would be a mother that would follow in her Father's footsteps. I want to be a parent that will look past the disobedience of my children to see the daughters that I love. I understand, just as my Father does about me, that their wrong actions do not define who they are. More importantly, they do not define who they will be. If I, as their mother, can discipline them with love, justice, and forgiveness, I will help to shape them into children who will accept and learn from correction- whether it be from their earthly parents or their Heavenly Father.

So today, I am choosing to stop, pray, take a deep breath, and look at my sweet little girls as gifts that I have been given to protect, teach and mold. I will never have these moments again. I will never get a do-over. Every day counts. And I want them to remember me for my unconditional love for them. Because if they do, perhaps they have caught a glimpse of my Heavenly Father's love through me. And that would be the ultimate compliment for such an imperfect mommy.

Time to Upgrade

My husband, Derick, always gets the latest and greatest phones and gadgets. I'm sure many of you are already aware of that, since he's not ashamed to brag about his new iPhone and iPad. He talks about them, posts things on facebook about them, and demonstrates them at every opportunity. It's fun for him to show off his new toys and enlighten his friends and myself about all the wonderful and exciting things they can do.

I, on the other hand, have his hand-me-down phones. They, at one time, were the latest and greatest, but these days it only takes a few months...sometimes a few weeks...before they are surpassed by more exciting devices. Although the phone I have works just fine, it's nothing worth bragging about. In fact, it would be almost absurd for me to talk about my phone the way Derick talks about his since there are so many newer and more advanced versions of the outdated phone that I have. Usually when it comes time to upgrade, I settle for the hand-me-down, while Derick is jumping at the chance to get something new.

It's not that I don't enjoy new things. I love playing around with Derick's new gadgets. But usually I'm too cheap to want to pay the extra money to upgrade to a fancier phone when I can use his old one that works just fine. Secretly, I wish that I had an iPhone. I envy his iPad. I would love to have the internet at my fingertips and the app that lets you bump your phone and automatically transfer information from one phone to another. But I settle for less, because I don't want to pay the price.

As I was pondering the irony of this situation today, God reminded me that often this is how we treat our Christian faith. The wonderful thing about a relationship with Christ is that it is supposed to be always changing, always evolving, always growing. Much like the technology today, we can be constantly introduced to new and exciting knowledge about God. And many people have the joy of experiencing just that. They seek after God. They spend time getting to know Him through study of His Word, prayer, and worship. They get to a place where the experience they have been having with God just isn't enough, and they pay the price to upgrade to a deeper revelation of who God is. We know who these people are. Much like someone who gets a new gadget or phone, they can't help but let their excitement about the Lord overflow into their conversation with others. They feel that this new revelation must be shared!

Some of us see these people and their ever-growing, ever-deepening relationships with God, and desire the same thing. We hear their excitement about the new things they are learning and experiencing through Christ, and deep inside we hunger for the same thing. But instead of making the sacrifice to have a greater revelation of God ourselves, we settle for the same faith we have carried around since childhood. We cling to our 3rd grade Sunday School lessons and memorized prayers that we have been saying for years. We figure, they still work, so why change? Why put forth the extra effort to "upgrade" to a more meaningful, newer revelation of who God is when what we have gets us by just fine?

I have been guilty of this. Just as I sit and admire Derick's iPhone with envy, I have admired the vibrant spiritual lives of others, yet been unwilling to pay the price to experience the same thing myself. The crazy thing is, sometimes I have walked around with my out-dated, stale faith and boasted about my relationship with Christ, as if I had something worth boasting about! Can you imagine someone in 2010 bragging about their Zack Morris 80's phone as if it was just as up-to-date as an iPhone? It would be absurd! But I've done that. And I would venture to say, most all of us have. We are content with, even proud of ourselves for the faith we have when, in reality, there is so much more to be had if we will just pay the price. Time. Commitment. Study. Change.

So I challenge you, as I have been challenged today: how long have you been carrying around the same "version" of your faith? Is it time for an upgrade? And if so, are you willing to pay the price to experience a new revelation of Christ? If we are, endless possibilities, knowledge and understanding about God are waiting for us. Now that is something worth sharing!

Nourished By God

"I'm tired." "I'm hungry." "I don't have the energy." "I'm overwhelmed."

We often use these phrases to describe our lives. It is so easy to fall prey to the busy-ness of life and lose sight of the things that are truly important. We can get so absorbed in our culture that we let our energy- or lack thereof- dictate our steps rather than the leading of the Holy Spirit.

John chapter 4 tells the familiar story of Jesus' encounter with the Woman at the Well. It is a wonderful story that displays the mercy of the Father so vividly, but today I want to focus on what happens immediately before and after this encounter; something that has the potential to happen in our own lives, if we put the Father's priorities above our own.

When the story begins, we find Jesus journeying through Samaria and stopping in the town of Sychar. The Bible says that Jesus was tired from the journey, so he stopped at an obvious place of refreshment- a well. While Jesus rested, his disciples went into town to buy food. The scripture indicates that it was around noon- lunchtime. Back in that day, Jesus and his disciples traveled from town to town by foot. As much as Jesus was God, he was also man, and the constant traveling had to take its toll on his body. At this certain instant, the Bible makes a point to let us know that Jesus was tired and hungry.

I don't know about you, but the phrase "tired and hungry" describes me at just about any point in the day. With toddlers, there hardly comes a time that I am not at least one or the other, since mealtime is designated to cutting their food, wiping their faces, refilling their drinks, cleaning up spills and leaves no time for me to actually eat myself. We all seem to lead such fast-paced lives that our bodies often cry out for more attention than what we give them.

Jesus was tired and hungry. But he did not let that interfere with the opportunity to minister to a woman who was in need of the Truth that day. He expended energy he did not have to share with her that she could have living water and an intimate relationship with God. He was sensitive to the Spirit and obedient to the Father. He did not let his current feelings and needs distract him from what was truly important.

But the part of the story that strikes me is what comes next. After Jesus talks with the woman, she goes and tells people in the town about this man who she believes to be the Messiah. Meanwhile, the disciples return with the food they went out to get. But before Jesus can sit down to a nice meal after a long journey, the crowds are gathering. People are wanting to know if Jesus really could be the Messiah. The disciples have been with Jesus. They know he is tired from traveling and hasn't eaten in a while- possibly all day. They begin to try to talk him into eating something. Common sense, right? They are just trying to watch our for their friend and leader. But Jesus replies to them, saying:

“My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work. 35 You know the saying, ‘Four months between planting and harvest.’ But I say, wake up and look around. The fields are already ripe for harvest."

Jesus was so in tune with the will of God, that he didn't even let appeasing his hunger take priority over winning souls. He knew that his needs would be met as long as he was doing the will of his Father. There was no hunger too deep, no exhaustion too great to keep him from doing the work and will of God.

This scripture is so humbling to me. How many times do we neglect what God is trying to do through us because of our "needs"? Have you ever seen someone in need, yet not stopped to help them because you didn't have the time or energy to do so? I think sometimes we believe that God wouldn't ask us to go hungry in order to do His work. He just wouldn't do that. But would He? Would He ask us to go hungry in order to give someone else the bread of life? Would He ask us to use energy we don't have to share the living water with a dry and thirsty soul? What makes us think that our physical needs are so much more important than the spiritual needs of others?

Jesus had it right- when we put our needs aside to meet the needs of others, we receive "nourishment" from doing the will of God. And if we make the sacrifice to be used by Him, we will reap a harvest that is ripe, just as Jesus did. Not only did he witness to a woman at a well, but the Bible tells us that "many Samaritans in the village believed." Often we stop with one good deed and don't realize that, if we would put off our hunger for a few minutes more, there could be a whole field waiting to be harvested.

I am challenged today by the obedience and sacrifice of Jesus. It is my prayer that I would never use my schedule or my needs as an excuse not to do the will of God. How often are you not simply fed, but supernaturally nourished by doing the will of God? May God increase it many times over!

The Miracle In Obedience

"Jesus said to the servants, 'Fill the jars with water'; so they filled them to the brim. Then he told them, 'Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.' They did so." -John 2:6-8

Obedience can be hard, especially when we have no idea what the outcome of our obedience will be. That takes faith in the person whom you are choosing to obey. Whether it be a parent, employee, friend, or someone else, the outcome of our obedience is directly related to the motive of whom we are obeying.

When it comes to God, we can trust that our obedience to Him and His Word will always result in bringing Him glory, and drawing others to Him. When we read in Romans where Paul tells us that "God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose," we have to realize that the "good" he speaks of is not necessarily the "good" that we understand it to be. If we are called according to HIS purpose, things may not always end up how we think are best, but they will always end up in glorifying the Father and drawing others to Him, which should be our heart's true desire. Not my will, but Yours be done.

In the story of Jesus turning water into wine, we read the account the first recorded miracle that Jesus did. Jesus and his friends and family are attending a wedding banquet when they suddenly run out of wine. Jesus' mother immediately volunteers Jesus to help resolve the situation. I find it interesting that rather than entering the miracle scene with a big bang by performing a spectacular solo, Jesus chooses to rely on the help of some simple servants. Isn't that just like God? He can do anything and everything all by Himself, but He chooses to use us, His humble servants, to perform amazing miracles.

Jesus instructs the servants to fill some jars with water, and then take some to the master of the banquet to taste. Can you imagine what the servants must have been thinking? At this time, Jesus had not performed any miracles. It was doubtful that many people fully understood who He really was- the Son of God. So these servants are instructed by Jesus, who to them is just another ordinary guy, to take some water (which they got themselves) and let the master of the banquet taste it when he was expecting wine. Talk about faithful obedience! In those days, if a servant was to make a huge mistake like bringing the master water instead of wine, it could easily be punishable by death. So these servants were not only risking their jobs, but possibly their lives.

Obviously I was not there to witness firsthand this amazing miracle. But from what I gather from the Word of God, Jesus did not once touch the jars or the water himself. He simply gave the orders to the servants, who carried them out, and the miracle was performed. I believe with all my heart that if it were not for the obedience of those servants, the water would not have been changed to wine. And so it is with our lives. There are miracles to be performed every day all around us, but those miracles are a direct result of our obedience- blind and risky- to the Father. Many times we will not see the results of the miracle until we truly put our neck on the line, just like the servants in this story. The real miracle is in our obedience.

I want God to use me. It is my daily prayer that God would use me to do great things for Him. But how many times do we miss out on a miracle because our obedience seems too risky? When we get to the place where we are willing to obey God no matter how crazy it seems and regardless of what we think the outcome will be, I believe we will begin to see more and more miracles- not because of what we do, but because of WHO we choose to obey.

The Word and the Light

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it." -John 1:1-5



The Word of God, before it was written in the form as we know it, was spoken. Millions of years ago into the void of space, the first sound ever heard was made when it came out of the mouth of God- and that same sound still resonates within the heart of creation- the sound of "life". When God spoke, He did not just make noise. He created. His Word was alive, and when spoken, brought life to the universe. What an amazing concept to try and fathom!



All that is alive today has that same sound of life echoing within it. We all embody the creative sound and force of the Word of God. We are the result of His spoken Word. Though many do not realize it, and some have turned away from it, we must realize that the very essence of who we are is found in this pivotal moment of creation.



Interestingly, the very first thing God chose to create with this sound of life- His spoken Word- was "light", which this passage in John also identifies as "The Word". The Word of God, who we understand to be Jesus Christ, first created light, which is also represented as Jesus Christ. Now, I don't claim to be a theologian. I'm sure there are plenty of professors, students, and preachers who could better explain this passage of scripture in a more doctrinally-accurate way. But I do know that God can speak to even simple people like me through His Word, and this is what I believe He has spoken to me about this scripture.



Jesus Christ is the Word of God, spoken and in flesh. He is also the light of men. Have you ever been in a dark room and tried to listen to someone tell you which direction to go without being able to see? It is difficult to listen to a voice and follow it in the darkness. But when you combine sound and light, the direction you are supposed to go is much clearer. The Word of God is the creative force in our universe. It is the life that resonates within us all. It is what constantly draws us back to our Creator. The Word is telling us which way to go. But in the darkness, we stumble. It is hard to listen to that cry within us longing to be reunited with our source of life when we cannot see. God knew this. So the first thing He created was light.



When Jesus came and walked on this earth, He was both Word and Light in one. He was God- visible and audible. Never had there been such a powerful combination of the voice and light of God than when Jesus spent His 33 years teaching and serving. He made the path to God accessible to all mankind. You would think that all who heard and saw Him would have believed His message. But that was not the case.



"He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God- children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God. The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father full of grace and truth." -John 1:10-14



"Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand. In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: 'You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them."

Matthew 13:13-15



So why, when for the first time the Word and the Light were combined to make the Truth clear, would people not recognize it? Why would they close their eyes to the light and not listen to the Word?



Have you ever been in a dark room and had the light suddenly turned on? What is your first reaction? To close your eyes! How about being in a large auditorium and experience high-frequency feedback. What do you do? Plug your ears! For so long creation had walked in darkness and not often heard the voice of the Lord. When Jesus came upon the scene, it had to have been as a burst of sound and light that blinded their vision and pierced their ears. And rather than allow their ears and eyes to adjust, they simply closed them to the life-giving truth that Jesus had to offer.



Now that Jesus no longer walks this earth, we have the Word of God in written form- the Bible. It is the complete and inherent Word of God. It documents the life of Jesus Christ and, although written, is still "God-breathed" with that same breath of life that created Adam. (2 Tim. 3:16) But after Jesus was taken up to heaven, the light was no longer visible on the earth. So once again, we have the voice of God calling out to His children, who are stumbling desperately in the darkness. So how does creation find its way back to the Creator without the light?



"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." -Matthew 5:14-16



Jesus said that while He was in the world, He was the light of the world. But He gave us as Christians a command- to let our light shine. If Christ truly dwells within us and if His Word is guiding our lives, then His light will shine through us. The souls of mankind recognize the Word of God. The very life inside of them testifies to its truth. But they need the light.



So how do we continue the work that started at the very moment time began, when God combined Word and Light? We shout His Truth and shine His Light with every single breath we breathe! Every day, every moment, every heartbeat should resonate with the sound of life within us- the life that is found through Jesus Christ. Our lives should shine so brilliantly with the light of Christ that the darkness is shattered and the world can no longer cover their eyes to the truth of who God is. The hope of creation now lies within us.



The Word of God and the Light of men offer hope to all mankind. They go hand in hand. And we hold the amazing plan of God's redemption within us. What are you doing with it?



"...become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life..."

Philippians 2:15-16

The Promise of Restoration

I have been reading for the past few months in the book of Jeremiah, which is not necessarily a favorite of mine. So much of the book of Jeremiah is about destruction, judgement, disobedience, captivity, etc. that it is not a very uplifting portion of the Bible to read. It can actually be quite discouraging. As I was reading, about halfway through I had to ask the Lord, "Why in the world do you have me reading this? What does this all mean for me?" And then I saw it.

"The days are coming' declares the Lord, 'when I will bring my people back from captivity and restore them to the land I gave their forefathers to possess,' says the Lord."
"I will restore the fortunes of Jacob's tents and have compassion on his dwellings; the city will be rebuilt on her ruins, and the palace will stand in its proper place. From them will come songs of thanksgiving and the sound of rejoicing."
Jer, 30:3 and 18-19

As you read the book of Jeremiah, much of the writings are devoted to telling of the wrath and justice of God. After all, He is a righteous judge, and must act justly towards His disobedient children. But to me, the beauty of this book is in the moments interwoven with the punishment and justice where you see the heart of a Father shining through- the ultimate desire for restoration.

We, like the Israelites, are disobedient children. We wander from the truth God has plainly set before us, and because of that, we face calamity and destruction. The human race endures much pain and suffering simply because we choose to live by our own rules rather than the Word of God. And we, like the Israelites, have to endure the consequences of our disobedience and the disobedience of our ancestors. At times, we might look around us at all the destruction and ask the Lord, "Why in the world do you have me living in this? What does all this mean for me?" When all along, the Father's heart is yearning for one thing- restoration.

God longs to restore us to a relationship with Him. He does not desire for us to suffer. It is not His pleasure for us to face calamity or pain. His heart breaks for His children who are in captivity to sin. He does not delight in punishing the disobedient. It is simply a necessary part of the process to lead us toward His ultimate desire- restoring us to Him as His children. Whatever it takes to bring us back to God, that is what He will do. However far we must stray and however long we must suffer, He endures the agony of it all with the hope and promise of restoration. The Father loves us, and His love is always, always drawing us towards Himself.

After I came to this revelation, I continued reading the book of Jeremiah, anxiously looking for glimpses of the promise of restoration. Rather than focusing on the pain and destruction, I rejoiced at the heart of the Father to be in a restored relationship with His children. And in the midst of it all, I saw myself- an often disobedient and headstrong child who is constantly stubbing my toes and experiencing pain because I refuse to follow the path I know God has chosen for me. Yet there my Heavenly Father stands with arms open wide, whispering to me just as he did to His chosen people in Jeremiah;
"Return to me, my child. I will wipe away your tears and heal your heart. When you call upon me, I will hear you. And you will be restored."

Amazed

I sit in silence,
In wonder,
In amazement
Of what You have done.
I look out my window and see a world
That is tangible evidence of Your existence.
People wonder how I believe in You-
How could I not?
In a world full of so many chances,
Mistakes,
Confusion,
Your creation and Your plan
Seem to be the only thing with purpose.
The wind whispers Your love to me.
The sun shines with Your grace.
Each day proves the mercy You have
Upon my life.
And the breath that You give me
Every moment
Reminds me how much I need You.
I need Your love,
Your grace,
Your mercy,
Your breath,
For without You, who am I?
My heart cries out with gratitude
For what You have done in me.
I am so unworthy,
But You choose to love me
And give me what I could never obtain myself.
I am completely unworthy,
Yet undeniably blessed.
Utterly poor,
Yet eternally rich.
I am nothing,
Yet in You, I am everything
You created me to be.
And that,
Precious Lord,
That,
Is amazing.