I have this problem: I am a planner.
I am the person that has the planner in my purse with a yearly, monthly, weekly, and daily calendar. I can be as detailed with my planning as I have time for. I even find that I write down things in my planner after I've done them, just because. At the beginning of the day I need to know what is going to happen throughout that day. I need to know what we are eating for dinner before I even make breakfast. I just function better with a plan.
To some people, that doesn't seem like it would be a problem. Some more unorganized people would love to be able to come up with a plan and follow through. Yet they wander through life, free from planning, living spontaneously. Oh, how I envy those people.
You see, as a Christian, my heart's desire is to be in God's will for my life. I want to be where He wants me to be, doing what He wants me to be doing. I've lived for myself long enough to know it's really not all it's cracked up to be, and the Creator of the universe has much better plans than what I can come up with. But when you let the Creator control your life, the problem is, you don't get a plan. He doesn't provide you with a little daytimer that shows what each moment is designated for. He doesn't give you a daily, weekly, monthly, or even yearly calendar! And that can pose quite a problem for a planner like me.
At this particular point in my life, I feel about as unorganized, unproductive, and unplanned as I ever have. We've made a huge transition in our lives with many unknowns still attached (when our house will sell, where we will live, whether or not I'll get a job, what type of job I will look for if I get one, who our new pastor will be, etc). I have absolutely no idea of what lies around the corner for us. My God-daytimer is blank.
So just a while ago, when God and I were having a little talk and I began to voice some of these frustrations, God scolded me (a bit harshly, if you ask me) and asked, "When have you ever really had a plan that you thought I had to stick to?" You see, I have failed to realize, that although there are times when I have felt more secure in my plans for the future than I do now, God has never been held to any of them. So although I may have felt more sure of what would happen, the reality is that my plans meant absolutely nothing and I was just as out-of-control of things as I am at this moment.
Sometimes we psych ourselves into thinking that as long as we have a plan, everything will go like it's supposed to. We think that if we have a plan, the future is more sure. We know what tomorrow holds. But plan or no, do we really? Can we really be sure of the future? Of course not! We aren't even promised to have a tomorrow. Only God knows what is ahead. Only He has plans that are not affected by circumstances and situations. Our security is not, and never has been in our own plans. It is only in knowing that God is always in control.
So do we wander aimlessly through life, never planning, never preparing, never dreaming for what is ahead? Of course not! But we can't forget that our plans come second to what God's ultimate plan is for us. I don't know anyone who has ever had God outright tell them His whole entire plan for their life. (It would be nice, though, wouldn't it!?) We walk by faith, not by sight. Following God requires trusting Him, even when we can't see what's ahead.
I don't know where you're at today. Perhaps things in your life are unfolding just as you thought they would. Maybe you are feeling overwhelmed and out of control. Or maybe you are walking each day by faith, trusting that God is leading you. Either way, we are all in the same boat. God is not held to our plans. Tomorrow is not promised. We are not in control. God is. And although frustrating at times, I think it's better that way. :)
After all, God is definitely a planner like me...but His actually get carried out. And that's a promise.