Compari[sin]

It's an easy trap to fall into- the sin of comparison.

"Comparison isn't a sin," you say?

Oh, but I beg to differ.

I have lived most of my life comparing myself to others.  As a child, it was comparing myself to the "popular girl".  As a teenager, it was comparing myself to actresses and models.  As an adult, it became comparing myself to other wives and mothers.  (The Pinterest Pedestal,  anyone??)  It's a terribly discouraging and depressing chore, comparing oneself to others.  Especially since we often[always] fall short.

Somehow, through comparison, I developed this idea in my mind of the wife and mother I should be.

Clean house.  Delicious dinners every night.  Put-together and stylish.  Crafty.  Calm, cool and collected.  Healthy and fit.  Super-mom.  Doting wife.  The girl who does it all.

And the harsh reality?

My house is sometimes clean and always messy.  I order pizza for dinner way more often than I'd like to admit.  I have no idea what the current fashions are because most of my clothes come off the Target clearance rack.  My oldest child's scrapbook only goes to her 4th month (she's 6).  My other two children don't even have one.  I'm usually frazzled, forgetful and impatient.  I never exercise and sometimes I go without eating one fruit or vegetable all day.  I am FAR from super-mom.  My husband usually comes home to a tired, stressed wife who can barely keep her eyes open long enough to give him a kiss goodnight.

"Well, you need to get your act together like the rest of us."  That's what Satan whispers in my ear.  He tells me that I've fallen so very short of where everyone else is.  I live too many days in guilt and frustration because I choose to compare myself with the "idea" of who I should be.

And I am convinced that that mentality keeps us from living the "abundant life" that Jesus came to give.

But it's not always the falling short that causes the sin.  Often, it is the rising above.  We think:

"At least I'm a better mother than she is."

"I don't use crude language like her."

"I give more to missions than they do."

"I have a better marriage."

"I do more volunteer work than her."

"I would never act like that."

"I'm at church way more than they are."


*GASP*  "You mean, you've thought those things?"

Oh yes, yes I have.  And as much as it hurts to admit, I bet you have too.  We are flawed human beings.  We don't like admitting our flaws.  So any time we have the opportunity to feel better about our flaws, we usually jump at it.

I have fallen victim to the sin of comparison in my own life more times than I can count.  I don't consider myself to be a boastful person.  I don't go around parading my successes in front of others.  But the sin of comparison isn't loud and proud.  Typically, it is quiet and unassuming.  And as we let it take shape in the secret places of our mind and heart, it steals away conviction.

For years, I justified what I did for the Lord as "being enough" because it was more than so-and-so.  I prayed more.  Gave more.  Volunteered more.  Taught more.  Sacrificed more.  I lived under the false impression that as long as it was "more", it was enough.

Oh, how wrong I was.

Our "more-than" will always fall short of total surrender.

When we allow our convictions to be molded and shaped by comparison to others, it is easy to fall into complacency and apathy.  We stop listening to the voice of the Spirit and allowing Him to direct our path.  Instead, as long as we are "as good as" or "better" than the rest, we're okay with that.  We sit back, arms folded in satisfaction, unwilling to truly lay our lives on the altar of complete and total surrender to Christ.

Several years ago I realized that my Christian life had become a byproduct of the sin of comparison.   I no longer felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit, calling me to a life of greater sacrifice and deeper relationship.  I looked around, compared myself to other believers, and was convinced I had done enough. I had become satisfied. Satisfied, yet empty.

This mentality, too, robbed me of the "abundant life" that Jesus talked about.

Dear friends, there is a beautiful balance that the Spirit gently draws us to.  It is far from the place of less-than and more-than.  It cannot be reached by comparison.  It is only found when we humbly submit ourselves- completely surrendered- to our gracious Heavenly Father and allow Him to take us to the place of "enough".

The place where we are enough because He is enough.

This place of "enough" is not based on what we do.  We could never do enough.  It is not based on who we are.  We could never be enough.  It is based on the redemption, grace, mercy and love of Jesus Christ who will always and forever be more than enough.

So today, if you're living in the place of "less-than", stop the compari[sin] and live in the freedom of being a daughter of the one who is enough.  If you're living in the place of "more-than", step bravely onto the altar of complete surrender before Christ where our righteousness becomes filthy rags and our total obedience to Him is all that will ever be enough.

He is calling you to the place of "enough".  Will you come?

"My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with me."  And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming."  -Psalms 27:8

In Awe- The Fear of God

"Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true wisdom.
All who obey his commandments will grow in wisdom." Psalm 111:10

The Christian church has done its best to try and explain God. We have wrapped Him up in clever little sayings and heartwarming songs. We've used phrases like "Jesus is my homeboy" and "best friend" to describe a relationship with Christ in a way that is appealing and approachable to the world. I am not criticizing these attempts to present God to the world in a way that they can receive Him. All of our human efforts (including my own), regardless of doctrinal correctness or theological caliber, fall embarrassingly short of capturing God in the fullness of who He is.

"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom..." 1 Cor. 1:25

However, I do believe that in bringing God to a level that we can understand and accept, we have done new converts (and life-long believers as well) a huge disservice. In our attempts to win people over to Christ, we have reduced the privilege of a relationship with the God of the Universe down to a simple "friendship". A casual buddy. In doing this, we have neglected and ignored one of the most essential traits of a true relationship with God- fear.

"But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love..." Psalm 33:18

You don't often hear people talking about the fear of God when they are witnessing. And that is understandable- how do you attract someone to a being that should be feared? As a young teenager, I remember reading about the fear of the Lord and quickly skimming over those passages and moving on. I didn't want to think about fearing God. I just wanted to think about the God who loved me and wanted to be my friend. I didn't want to think about a God who invokes fear.

But if we are really going to turn our lives over to this God who existed before time began and knows the end from the beginning, we must understand and embrace a holy fear of God. Without it, we are in danger of giving our lives to an "idea" or "version" of God, rather than the I AM Himself. (Which could be argued, is a form of idolatry.)

To understand the meaning of "fear" when it comes to God, we must be willing to look at the complete picture (or as best as we can comprehend it) of who God is. Job chapters 36 and 37 are a stunning picture of God. The visual images cast by the words of the author are hard to comprehend. But in reading them, they evoke a sense of wonder, awe, and reverence for Almighty God.

"At this my heart pounds and leaps from its place. Listen! Listen to the roar of his voice, to the rumbling that comes from his mouth. He unleashes his lightning beneath the whole heaven and sends it to the ends of the earth. After that comes the sound of his roar; he thunders with his majestic voice. When his voice resounds, he holds nothing back. God's voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. " Job 37:1-5

Yes, God loves us. He is a good God. He desires a relationship with us. He is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. But we cannot accept God for all of His benefits without acknowledging that He is powerful, just, righteous, majestic, and holy. He can create and destroy with His very breath. He can plant and uproot. He requires holiness from His people. And He judges the very hearts of men.

I have a wonderful earthly father. He is a tall man with a loud voice. I know that he loves me, but as a child he was very intimidating. As much as it was his responsibility as a father to love me, it was also his responsibility to correct and discipline me in love. He had rules. Expectations. And I knew that. If I did something I wasn't supposed to, I was afraid. Afraid of the consequences, and afraid of disappointing him. I knew he would never do anything to harm me. I wasn't afraid of him like I was afraid of spiders or the boogey man. I was fearful of him because I respected him as the authority over my life.

Our fear of God should be similar. We should never doubt that God loves us. Love is the motivation for everything God does. But because God loves us, He desires the best for our lives. He created the world and everything in it for His purpose, and our part in that purpose is His best for us. He will guide, discipline, judge and correct in righteousness to bring about that purpose in our lives. He is our authority- and His authority demands respect and reverence. Fear.

True wisdom begins with the fear of the Lord. When we allow our view of God to include not only Jesus the friend, but I AM- the Creator, Sustainer, Judge, and King- we experience the fullness of knowing and serving a God who not only walks by our side each day, but gives us the very breath to live that day out in communion with Him. Our fear of God should motivate us to live according to His will. We should read His Word with an urgency to discern and know His expectations of us. And once we know them, we should apply them and honor Him with our lives. His grace covers our failures, and His righteousness covers our shortcomings. But grace and mercy should not be an excuse to undermine God's authority over our lives.

If we truly live in a relationship with God, we will fear Him. There should be a sense of awe when we come into His presence. He isn't just a buddy. He is the Great I AM. Be challenged to think about God in the fullness of who He is. And don't be surprised if a holy fear is the result as He reveals His glory to you. If it's not, we may have missed God entirely.

The Problem With Planning

I have this problem: I am a planner.

I am the person that has the planner in my purse with a yearly, monthly, weekly, and daily calendar. I can be as detailed with my planning as I have time for. I even find that I write down things in my planner after I've done them, just because. At the beginning of the day I need to know what is going to happen throughout that day. I need to know what we are eating for dinner before I even make breakfast. I just function better with a plan.

To some people, that doesn't seem like it would be a problem. Some more unorganized people would love to be able to come up with a plan and follow through. Yet they wander through life, free from planning, living spontaneously. Oh, how I envy those people.

You see, as a Christian, my heart's desire is to be in God's will for my life. I want to be where He wants me to be, doing what He wants me to be doing. I've lived for myself long enough to know it's really not all it's cracked up to be, and the Creator of the universe has much better plans than what I can come up with. But when you let the Creator control your life, the problem is, you don't get a plan. He doesn't provide you with a little daytimer that shows what each moment is designated for. He doesn't give you a daily, weekly, monthly, or even yearly calendar! And that can pose quite a problem for a planner like me.

At this particular point in my life, I feel about as unorganized, unproductive, and unplanned as I ever have. We've made a huge transition in our lives with many unknowns still attached (when our house will sell, where we will live, whether or not I'll get a job, what type of job I will look for if I get one, who our new pastor will be, etc). I have absolutely no idea of what lies around the corner for us. My God-daytimer is blank.

So just a while ago, when God and I were having a little talk and I began to voice some of these frustrations, God scolded me (a bit harshly, if you ask me) and asked, "When have you ever really had a plan that you thought I had to stick to?" You see, I have failed to realize, that although there are times when I have felt more secure in my plans for the future than I do now, God has never been held to any of them. So although I may have felt more sure of what would happen, the reality is that my plans meant absolutely nothing and I was just as out-of-control of things as I am at this moment.

Sometimes we psych ourselves into thinking that as long as we have a plan, everything will go like it's supposed to. We think that if we have a plan, the future is more sure. We know what tomorrow holds. But plan or no, do we really? Can we really be sure of the future? Of course not! We aren't even promised to have a tomorrow. Only God knows what is ahead. Only He has plans that are not affected by circumstances and situations. Our security is not, and never has been in our own plans. It is only in knowing that God is always in control.

So do we wander aimlessly through life, never planning, never preparing, never dreaming for what is ahead? Of course not! But we can't forget that our plans come second to what God's ultimate plan is for us. I don't know anyone who has ever had God outright tell them His whole entire plan for their life. (It would be nice, though, wouldn't it!?) We walk by faith, not by sight. Following God requires trusting Him, even when we can't see what's ahead.

I don't know where you're at today. Perhaps things in your life are unfolding just as you thought they would. Maybe you are feeling overwhelmed and out of control. Or maybe you are walking each day by faith, trusting that God is leading you. Either way, we are all in the same boat. God is not held to our plans. Tomorrow is not promised. We are not in control. God is. And although frustrating at times, I think it's better that way. :)

After all, God is definitely a planner like me...but His actually get carried out. And that's a promise.