So here's the story: it's 4:30 AM, can't sleep, and I'm thinking...
Why is it that as Christians, we feel that God has to do something radical in our lives for us to re-gain that first love that we had for Him? You know- that passionate, intimate love that we felt when He first saved us from our sins and brought us into His amazing grace? Why don't we ALWAYS love Him passionately for that? Why does the intensity of our worship fade and the flame in our fire get dim?
And then we go to a retreat or a camp or some big shindig and God does something radical and we get all "fired up" again. And then we're "in love with Jesus" and everything is all about Him for the next few weeks. Until the newness fades and life is back to normal and our Bible is sitting dusty on the shelf again.
Let me tell you, if I was only deeply in love with my husband when he did something amazing for me, well, let's just say we probably wouldn't be married anymore. ;o) I am in love with him not because of what he does for me (although those times are special and appreciated). I am in love with him because of WHO HE IS. Because he is loving, kind, funny, sensitive, caring, honest, faithful, and ultimately, because he is the man I've committed my life to and I can't imagine life without him. And because I know sometimes you have to choose to love, even when you don't feel it.
So why is our relationship with God so different? Why do we forget that sometimes we have to choose to love? We may not always feel that intense, deep devotion and love based on circumstances. In those dry seasons in our lives when we feel that God is far away, we have to choose to love. We have to choose to keep our passion alive. Not because of what God does for us, but because of WHO HE IS. Because He is faithful, loving, gracious, merciful, forgiving, compassionate, healing, comforting, and passionately in love with us. We may not always see it in the circumstances around us. But what husband or boyfriend brings you flowers every day? Since when does God have to "woo" us or win our affection constantly?
Maybe He just wants to know that we love Him...just because. Because He is our Savior. Our Father. Our Friend. Just because of WHO HE IS.
I admit, I've done it too. My love has faded in the "in-between" times. But what kind of a commitment is that? Not one that will last.
I challenge you, and myself, to make your commitment to God and to loving Him just as serious as you would a marriage vow. You don't pledge to love a spouse "when they do great things for you and really show you how much they love you." No marriage would last if that were the case. Love is deeper and more committed. Love is selfless and faithful. Love is a CHOICE.
For better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. For all my days, Lord, I will CHOOSE to love you. Because of WHO YOU ARE.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Committed
I don’t know why this has been on my mind lately, but perhaps it will strike a chord with someone.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the lack of commitment in our society today. Commitment to relationships, jobs, family, goals, morals, convictions, etc. Why are we so quick to run away from things we once held in such high esteem as soon as a little trouble comes our way? Are we so shallow that we’re not willing to pay the price to stick by or work out something that we truly believe in?
People throughout history that have truly made a difference have been people that were totally committed to their cause. Philosophers, inventors, artists, missionaries, activists, politicians...so many people have given their lives in commitment to a cause that they believed to be worthy of their time, devotion, and in many cases, even martyrdom.
So why do we find it so hard to be committed to something? Anything? We’re always looking for the "next best thing". We’re not committed to marriage and family. We promote a good cause one day and forget about it the next. We commit to finishing our education, fulfilling our dreams, and making a difference, but somehow we end up making excuses for why we’ve fallen short. What happened to sacrifice? Conviction? Perserverance? COMMITMENT?
I want to be known as a committed person. I want to be committed to my Savior. I want people to see that I am 100% devoted to my faith in God and will never be swayed or shaken. I want to be as committed to Christ as He was to me when He carried my cross to Calvary.
I want to be committed to my family. I want them to always know without question that I am with them through thick and thin. No matter how tough times may get, I am committed to loving, supporting and believing in them.
I want to be committed to my dreams. To the vision God has given me for my life and my future. No matter how out of reach it may seem, I will press forward with my whole heart toward what God has called me to be and to do. I won’t give up. I won’t back down.
I want to be committed to the cause of Christ. To sharing His message with the world. I want to look back at the end of my life knowing that I did everything I could to tell people about the salvation that Jesus offers. It may require sacrifice and hardship, but I will not be silenced. Ever.
I want to go against the tide. This world may find that commitment is an outdated, overrated idea, but I believe it is the cornerstone to change. Like it’s been said, "If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything." Years from now I want someone to remember my name and know that I made a difference because I was committed. Perhaps it will be my grandchildren, thankful for a solid family heritage. Perhaps it will be young people that I ministered to, thankful for someone who told them about Jesus. Perhaps it will be someone I’ve never even met, but that was impacted by my life in some way.
I challenge you- be committed. Figure out who you are and what you believe and be committed to it. Whether it’s your faith, your family, your church, your charity, your dreams, or your desires, be committed. Nothing worth having comes without sacrifice. Jesus was the ultimate example of that. If He could be committed to a lost and dying world that hated and crucified Him, shouldn’t we be able to commit to a Savior that gave His all for us?
No matter what the cost, I will be committed. Will you?
I’ve been thinking a lot about the lack of commitment in our society today. Commitment to relationships, jobs, family, goals, morals, convictions, etc. Why are we so quick to run away from things we once held in such high esteem as soon as a little trouble comes our way? Are we so shallow that we’re not willing to pay the price to stick by or work out something that we truly believe in?
People throughout history that have truly made a difference have been people that were totally committed to their cause. Philosophers, inventors, artists, missionaries, activists, politicians...so many people have given their lives in commitment to a cause that they believed to be worthy of their time, devotion, and in many cases, even martyrdom.
So why do we find it so hard to be committed to something? Anything? We’re always looking for the "next best thing". We’re not committed to marriage and family. We promote a good cause one day and forget about it the next. We commit to finishing our education, fulfilling our dreams, and making a difference, but somehow we end up making excuses for why we’ve fallen short. What happened to sacrifice? Conviction? Perserverance? COMMITMENT?
I want to be known as a committed person. I want to be committed to my Savior. I want people to see that I am 100% devoted to my faith in God and will never be swayed or shaken. I want to be as committed to Christ as He was to me when He carried my cross to Calvary.
I want to be committed to my family. I want them to always know without question that I am with them through thick and thin. No matter how tough times may get, I am committed to loving, supporting and believing in them.
I want to be committed to my dreams. To the vision God has given me for my life and my future. No matter how out of reach it may seem, I will press forward with my whole heart toward what God has called me to be and to do. I won’t give up. I won’t back down.
I want to be committed to the cause of Christ. To sharing His message with the world. I want to look back at the end of my life knowing that I did everything I could to tell people about the salvation that Jesus offers. It may require sacrifice and hardship, but I will not be silenced. Ever.
I want to go against the tide. This world may find that commitment is an outdated, overrated idea, but I believe it is the cornerstone to change. Like it’s been said, "If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything." Years from now I want someone to remember my name and know that I made a difference because I was committed. Perhaps it will be my grandchildren, thankful for a solid family heritage. Perhaps it will be young people that I ministered to, thankful for someone who told them about Jesus. Perhaps it will be someone I’ve never even met, but that was impacted by my life in some way.
I challenge you- be committed. Figure out who you are and what you believe and be committed to it. Whether it’s your faith, your family, your church, your charity, your dreams, or your desires, be committed. Nothing worth having comes without sacrifice. Jesus was the ultimate example of that. If He could be committed to a lost and dying world that hated and crucified Him, shouldn’t we be able to commit to a Savior that gave His all for us?
No matter what the cost, I will be committed. Will you?
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
TALK or POWER?
"For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of talk, but of power." 1 Corinthians 4:20
We're all familiar with the phrase "Don't talk the talk if you can't walk the walk." It's one of those annoying little sayings that have been overused and commercialized. I must admit, I think it is condescending, hypocritical and rude. But as much as I hate to admit it, there is some truth in this "t-shirt" phrase.
In this passage of 1 Cornithians, Paul is addressing a church that he describes as "divided, quarrelsome, jealous and arrogant." Ouch. Too many opinions. Too much pride. Sound familiar? I suppose the problems of the church today have always existed. You'd think we'd have worked out the kinks by now. But we are human, and doomed to repeat history. How many times have you experienced a divided church because there were too many different opinions and too much pride to lay those opinions aside? Paul's admonition to "agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought" seems like an unrealistic expectation. I can just imagine as the letter was being read to the church in Corinth there were people thinking, "That sounds like a good idea. If everyone would agree with me there wouldn't be a problem." Ha.
So how do we get past the opinions, personal agendas and pride in the body of Christ? How can we get to the point where we are truly united in our mind and thought? Is that even possible?
Let's go back to 1 Corinthians 4:20. Paul says that the Kingdom of God is not a matter of talk. It's not about who's right and who's wrong. It's not about who has the best idea. It's not about the fancy words or eloquent prayers. We can have the best ideas, the most influential speakers, the most educated teachers. But if we don't have the power of Christ working in and through us, we are simply arrogant and useless. And that is when we find ourselves divided.
Paul says earlier in 1 Corinthians 2:2 "For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified." He goes on to share that his methods of spreading the gospel were not empowered by pride, preparation or perfect preaching. His effectiveness came from "a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power." That's what it is all about. This body that we call the church- our job is not to "wow" the world with the most advanced methods and fancy techniques, but to place all attention on the power of God working through us.
We won't always agree on method. Besides, the method that is popular today will probably be out of style tomorrow. That is why we can't get caught up in the meaningless details. The silly things people choose to argue about like the style of music, color of carpet or temperature of the room. When we choose to allow ourselves to be divided by such unimportant things that have absolutely nothing to do with God's Kingdom, we sacrifice the power we can have through unity in the body. We surrender our greatest weapon and allow the enemy to come in and create chaos. We have to get our focus back on what matters- the POWER.
So, how much power do you have? Or are you all talk? Can people see the evidence of the Holy Spirit's power working through your life, or do they simply "get an earful"? There's nothing wrong with verbally spreading the message of Christ. It is our job. But when our words become more important than the power to actually live out what we believe, we have strayed from the truth of what the Kingdom of God is truly about. Power. Power to change. Power to save. Power to transform. And God doesn't need your big ideas or fancy words to do that. So let's get out of the way and let God's power truly work through our lives. I believe that it's then we will begin to see the harvest come in, drawn in by the awesome power of God.
We're all familiar with the phrase "Don't talk the talk if you can't walk the walk." It's one of those annoying little sayings that have been overused and commercialized. I must admit, I think it is condescending, hypocritical and rude. But as much as I hate to admit it, there is some truth in this "t-shirt" phrase.
In this passage of 1 Cornithians, Paul is addressing a church that he describes as "divided, quarrelsome, jealous and arrogant." Ouch. Too many opinions. Too much pride. Sound familiar? I suppose the problems of the church today have always existed. You'd think we'd have worked out the kinks by now. But we are human, and doomed to repeat history. How many times have you experienced a divided church because there were too many different opinions and too much pride to lay those opinions aside? Paul's admonition to "agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought" seems like an unrealistic expectation. I can just imagine as the letter was being read to the church in Corinth there were people thinking, "That sounds like a good idea. If everyone would agree with me there wouldn't be a problem." Ha.
So how do we get past the opinions, personal agendas and pride in the body of Christ? How can we get to the point where we are truly united in our mind and thought? Is that even possible?
Let's go back to 1 Corinthians 4:20. Paul says that the Kingdom of God is not a matter of talk. It's not about who's right and who's wrong. It's not about who has the best idea. It's not about the fancy words or eloquent prayers. We can have the best ideas, the most influential speakers, the most educated teachers. But if we don't have the power of Christ working in and through us, we are simply arrogant and useless. And that is when we find ourselves divided.
Paul says earlier in 1 Corinthians 2:2 "For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified." He goes on to share that his methods of spreading the gospel were not empowered by pride, preparation or perfect preaching. His effectiveness came from "a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power." That's what it is all about. This body that we call the church- our job is not to "wow" the world with the most advanced methods and fancy techniques, but to place all attention on the power of God working through us.
We won't always agree on method. Besides, the method that is popular today will probably be out of style tomorrow. That is why we can't get caught up in the meaningless details. The silly things people choose to argue about like the style of music, color of carpet or temperature of the room. When we choose to allow ourselves to be divided by such unimportant things that have absolutely nothing to do with God's Kingdom, we sacrifice the power we can have through unity in the body. We surrender our greatest weapon and allow the enemy to come in and create chaos. We have to get our focus back on what matters- the POWER.
So, how much power do you have? Or are you all talk? Can people see the evidence of the Holy Spirit's power working through your life, or do they simply "get an earful"? There's nothing wrong with verbally spreading the message of Christ. It is our job. But when our words become more important than the power to actually live out what we believe, we have strayed from the truth of what the Kingdom of God is truly about. Power. Power to change. Power to save. Power to transform. And God doesn't need your big ideas or fancy words to do that. So let's get out of the way and let God's power truly work through our lives. I believe that it's then we will begin to see the harvest come in, drawn in by the awesome power of God.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
I Am Yours- Song
This is a worship song I wrote a few weeks ago...I suppose on here it's more of a poem since you can't hear the music!
I may never understand how you created all I see
I may never comprehend how you could love someone like me
In my simple mind I can't define why you do the things you do
I guess that's why I can't deny
That I love you
So I lift my hands and raise my voice
Cause in my mind I have no choice
But to worship you, I will worship you
So for all you've done and all you are
I hold nothing back as I give my heart
And worship you, I will worship you
So take now
My mind, my heart, my soul
You're in control
So take now
My past, my future
Everything is yours
So take now
My life, I give it all away
Today, I am yours
I may never understand how you created all I see
I may never comprehend how you could love someone like me
In my simple mind I can't define why you do the things you do
I guess that's why I can't deny
That I love you
So I lift my hands and raise my voice
Cause in my mind I have no choice
But to worship you, I will worship you
So for all you've done and all you are
I hold nothing back as I give my heart
And worship you, I will worship you
So take now
My mind, my heart, my soul
You're in control
So take now
My past, my future
Everything is yours
So take now
My life, I give it all away
Today, I am yours
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
My Eyes Are Opened
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
We are hypocrites.
We are flawed.
We are tainted.
What is our cry? What is our desire?
"I want more of You! More of You!"
"Pour it out on me! God I want more of You!"
But is it really about God, or about us?
Because with more of God comes change.
Are we changing?
With more of God comes compassion.
Are we reaching out?
With more of God comes holiness.
Are we different?
Or is it just about US?
Where is God in our selfish seeking?
Where is God in our cries for more?
Is He pleased?
Is He honored?
Is He lifted up?
Or is He tired of our needy prayers?
Is He ready to see what He's already given us be lived out?
Is He waiting to pour out more until we are empty again?
We are not empty.
We are full.
We are overflowing.
But we fail to let our overflow reach those who need it.
We choose to hoard each drop for ourselves.
We overlook those who are hurting and helpless.
We're too busy crying out for "MORE".
God, forgive us.
Shut our mouths...quiet our hearts.
Open our eyes to see all we have.
Open our hearts to let it flow out to others.
Open our ears to hear the cries of the helpless.
It's not about us.
It's all about YOU.
"These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain." Matthew 15:8-9
"Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them. Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps. But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream." Amos 5:22-24
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27
"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me." Psalm 51:10-11
Oh God, I have failed You. I have taken your blessings and kept them to myself. I have overlooked Your heart for the lost and the broken and have made religion about me. I have sinned. Forgive me for my selfishness. Break my heart once again. Help me to weep for the lost and hurting as you do. Change me from the inside out. When I worship, let it be about giving to You and not receiving from You. When I pray, let it be to glorify you and hear Your heart, not to simply place my needs before you and walk away. When I read Your word, let it burn within me and empower me to reach the lost for You. Let me become empty because I am pouring so much of you out of my life. Only then, dear Lord, will I cry out for more.
We are hypocrites.
We are flawed.
We are tainted.
What is our cry? What is our desire?
"I want more of You! More of You!"
"Pour it out on me! God I want more of You!"
But is it really about God, or about us?
Because with more of God comes change.
Are we changing?
With more of God comes compassion.
Are we reaching out?
With more of God comes holiness.
Are we different?
Or is it just about US?
Where is God in our selfish seeking?
Where is God in our cries for more?
Is He pleased?
Is He honored?
Is He lifted up?
Or is He tired of our needy prayers?
Is He ready to see what He's already given us be lived out?
Is He waiting to pour out more until we are empty again?
We are not empty.
We are full.
We are overflowing.
But we fail to let our overflow reach those who need it.
We choose to hoard each drop for ourselves.
We overlook those who are hurting and helpless.
We're too busy crying out for "MORE".
God, forgive us.
Shut our mouths...quiet our hearts.
Open our eyes to see all we have.
Open our hearts to let it flow out to others.
Open our ears to hear the cries of the helpless.
It's not about us.
It's all about YOU.
"These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain." Matthew 15:8-9
"Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them. Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps. But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream." Amos 5:22-24
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27
"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me." Psalm 51:10-11
Oh God, I have failed You. I have taken your blessings and kept them to myself. I have overlooked Your heart for the lost and the broken and have made religion about me. I have sinned. Forgive me for my selfishness. Break my heart once again. Help me to weep for the lost and hurting as you do. Change me from the inside out. When I worship, let it be about giving to You and not receiving from You. When I pray, let it be to glorify you and hear Your heart, not to simply place my needs before you and walk away. When I read Your word, let it burn within me and empower me to reach the lost for You. Let me become empty because I am pouring so much of you out of my life. Only then, dear Lord, will I cry out for more.
Lessons Learned in 2007
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Life is a learning experience. The more you live, the more you learn. Here is a summary of what I learned in 2007...
1. Being 9 months pregnant sucks.
2. Doctors and nurses aren't always right- sometimes you have to just believe yourself.
3. Having a child makes you realize how totally unimportant you are.
4. God truly can change ANYONE's life.
5. Prayer works.
6. Travling with an infant by yourself is not easy- especially when you get stuck on the runway for an hour.
7. I never want to be a single parent. Ever.
8. Eating at home is WAY cheaper than eating out all the time.
9. Kids are EXPENSIVE. I only want one.
10. When I feel the least able, God is the strongest in my life.
11. Be slow to offend and quick to defend.
12. Creativity gets rusty when not used.
13. Having a sick child is way worse than being sick yourself.
14. I have a calling to write and I should be using it.
15. Babies grow up way too fast.
16. The people that you love hurt you the most.
17. Change takes time, but it's worth the wait.
18. If I always put myself last, I have nothing left to give.
19. When you put pressure on yourself to do it right every time, you'll always be dissapointed.
20. I have the greatest husband. EVER.
21. I love being in ministry, even though it's got to be the hardest job in the world.
22. Open doors don't always mean you should walk through them.
23. God is faithful, always.
So that's my 2007 in a nutshell. It was an amazing year, full of more ups than downs and more blessings than trials. I am so thankful for an awesome God that gives me grace to make it through each day, and I am so excited for another year to walk in His love and plan for my life.
Life is a learning experience. The more you live, the more you learn. Here is a summary of what I learned in 2007...
1. Being 9 months pregnant sucks.
2. Doctors and nurses aren't always right- sometimes you have to just believe yourself.
3. Having a child makes you realize how totally unimportant you are.
4. God truly can change ANYONE's life.
5. Prayer works.
6. Travling with an infant by yourself is not easy- especially when you get stuck on the runway for an hour.
7. I never want to be a single parent. Ever.
8. Eating at home is WAY cheaper than eating out all the time.
9. Kids are EXPENSIVE. I only want one.
10. When I feel the least able, God is the strongest in my life.
11. Be slow to offend and quick to defend.
12. Creativity gets rusty when not used.
13. Having a sick child is way worse than being sick yourself.
14. I have a calling to write and I should be using it.
15. Babies grow up way too fast.
16. The people that you love hurt you the most.
17. Change takes time, but it's worth the wait.
18. If I always put myself last, I have nothing left to give.
19. When you put pressure on yourself to do it right every time, you'll always be dissapointed.
20. I have the greatest husband. EVER.
21. I love being in ministry, even though it's got to be the hardest job in the world.
22. Open doors don't always mean you should walk through them.
23. God is faithful, always.
So that's my 2007 in a nutshell. It was an amazing year, full of more ups than downs and more blessings than trials. I am so thankful for an awesome God that gives me grace to make it through each day, and I am so excited for another year to walk in His love and plan for my life.
Lately...
Sunday, November 11, 2007
It's real late/early in the morning (2 AM) and I can't sleep. I've been thinking I should write another blog, so here I am, wondering what to say. I do my best to try and make my words count. So here it goes...
If you know me very well, you know that I am a perfectionist. I like for things to be done a certain way (usually meaning MY way). That is definitely not something I am proud of, and I am learning to change, but I do believe in excellence and try to acheive it in all I do.
Having said that, I have a tendency to be very ALL or NOTHING. I suppose that is typical of a perfectionist. But it can be a real stumbling block. So lately when our children's ministry has hit a lull, I'll admit there were many days I was ready to throw in the towel. I figure, if I can't do it well, why do it at all? But I've slowly come to realize that sometimes the results we get don't reflect the effort we put in. Sometimes it has nothing to do with us. It's just...life.
I know that God is good and He always provides the strength we need to do whatever He's called us to do. So why do I get so burnt out and disillusioned when things don't go how I invisioned them? Perhaps because it's not about MY vision.
It's a life-long journey, learning to follow God's direction. I don't have it down now, and I probably won't ever. And the times when I feel the most lost and confused is usually when I've reverted back to what my idea of my life should be instead of relying on God and His vision for me. It's easy to do. We get caught up in the whirlwind of life and next thing you know, you've gotten sidetracked and are wondering where in the world God has taken you when all along you were the one walking in the wrong direction.
So I guess what I'm saying is that God is teaching me that 1. His ways aren't my ways. I have to get over myself and give in to Him. 2. Because His ways aren't my ways, things may not always work out like I think they should. But if I hang in there and trust Him, eventually it will work out better than I could have ever orchestrated. And 3. I have to constantly be seeking Him. I have to stay connected to Him and His vision for me in order to walk in His amazing plan for my life.
It's a journey I know I want to take, no matter what the cost. Wanna join me?
It's real late/early in the morning (2 AM) and I can't sleep. I've been thinking I should write another blog, so here I am, wondering what to say. I do my best to try and make my words count. So here it goes...
If you know me very well, you know that I am a perfectionist. I like for things to be done a certain way (usually meaning MY way). That is definitely not something I am proud of, and I am learning to change, but I do believe in excellence and try to acheive it in all I do.
Having said that, I have a tendency to be very ALL or NOTHING. I suppose that is typical of a perfectionist. But it can be a real stumbling block. So lately when our children's ministry has hit a lull, I'll admit there were many days I was ready to throw in the towel. I figure, if I can't do it well, why do it at all? But I've slowly come to realize that sometimes the results we get don't reflect the effort we put in. Sometimes it has nothing to do with us. It's just...life.
I know that God is good and He always provides the strength we need to do whatever He's called us to do. So why do I get so burnt out and disillusioned when things don't go how I invisioned them? Perhaps because it's not about MY vision.
It's a life-long journey, learning to follow God's direction. I don't have it down now, and I probably won't ever. And the times when I feel the most lost and confused is usually when I've reverted back to what my idea of my life should be instead of relying on God and His vision for me. It's easy to do. We get caught up in the whirlwind of life and next thing you know, you've gotten sidetracked and are wondering where in the world God has taken you when all along you were the one walking in the wrong direction.
So I guess what I'm saying is that God is teaching me that 1. His ways aren't my ways. I have to get over myself and give in to Him. 2. Because His ways aren't my ways, things may not always work out like I think they should. But if I hang in there and trust Him, eventually it will work out better than I could have ever orchestrated. And 3. I have to constantly be seeking Him. I have to stay connected to Him and His vision for me in order to walk in His amazing plan for my life.
It's a journey I know I want to take, no matter what the cost. Wanna join me?
Confession
Thursday, September 27, 2007
I have a confession to make...
Sometimes I get tired of trying to keep it all together.
Sometimes I just want to be like everyone else.
Sometimes I feel like I can't just be myself.
I have to do everything right.
I have to know all the answers.
I have to help everyone else and not worry about myself.
I struggle with knowing how to meet my own needs without feeling selfish or self-indulgent.
I know others come first.
I know people look to me for an example.
But sometimes I just want to be myself.
To be a 23 year old who doesn't have it all figured out.
To be allowed to make mistakes and not be a bad example.
I want someone else to understand how I feel.
So Lord, this is my confession.
I need Your help.
I need Your strength.
I need your wisdom to make up for my foolishness.
I need your guidance to make up for my confusion.
I need your compassion to make up for my selfishness.
I confess, Lord, that I NEED YOU.
I have a confession to make...
Sometimes I get tired of trying to keep it all together.
Sometimes I just want to be like everyone else.
Sometimes I feel like I can't just be myself.
I have to do everything right.
I have to know all the answers.
I have to help everyone else and not worry about myself.
I struggle with knowing how to meet my own needs without feeling selfish or self-indulgent.
I know others come first.
I know people look to me for an example.
But sometimes I just want to be myself.
To be a 23 year old who doesn't have it all figured out.
To be allowed to make mistakes and not be a bad example.
I want someone else to understand how I feel.
So Lord, this is my confession.
I need Your help.
I need Your strength.
I need your wisdom to make up for my foolishness.
I need your guidance to make up for my confusion.
I need your compassion to make up for my selfishness.
I confess, Lord, that I NEED YOU.
Overwhelmed
Thursday, July 05, 2007
I am one of those people who tries to conquer the world in 24 hours. And when I realize I can't do everything, I get frustrated and sit back and do nothing. Why must I be so extreme???
I would have to say that in the past year I have used the word "overwhelmed" to describe how I felt more than I ever have in my life. I hate feeling overwhelmed. But sadly, I think it's a feeling I place on myself, rather than something that just takes me over due to circumstances beyond my control.
I was watching a grasshopper this morning. And an ant. And a beetle. I sat on my porch and remembered what it was like when I was a kid and was facinated with all things smaller than me. I would run around and pick up every rollie pollie I could find. I would pick the dandelions in the yard. I would play with my dollhouse and color in my coloring book. I didn't care about cleaning house or doing dishes, washing clothes or making money. I cared about the things I could handle- the things that were my size.
Now that I've gotten older I've gotten this crazy idea that I can and should do everything- whether it's "my size" or not. I take on projects bigger than what I can handle. I feel guilty for not doing everything when I should be worried about simply doing "something". Why do we do that? Is it because the bigger we get the more we feel we can handle? Just because we're adults we should be able to tackle any problem or project that comes our way? That mentality has left me drained, tired, frustrated, and yes, OVERWHELMED.
So why can't I get back to the little things that really matter? Enjoying time with family and friends, helping a neighbor in need, teaching the kids in my church to love Jesus passionately, and taking time each day to talk to my Father in heaven. God doesn't require us to do everything. All He requires is that we are willing to do whatever He asks, and He promises it will never be more than what we can handle with His help. We make life so complicated when it's really as simple as a child gathering dandelions:
Pick up what you can handle instead of taking on the world- and the weeds in this life will slowly fade away.
I am one of those people who tries to conquer the world in 24 hours. And when I realize I can't do everything, I get frustrated and sit back and do nothing. Why must I be so extreme???
I would have to say that in the past year I have used the word "overwhelmed" to describe how I felt more than I ever have in my life. I hate feeling overwhelmed. But sadly, I think it's a feeling I place on myself, rather than something that just takes me over due to circumstances beyond my control.
I was watching a grasshopper this morning. And an ant. And a beetle. I sat on my porch and remembered what it was like when I was a kid and was facinated with all things smaller than me. I would run around and pick up every rollie pollie I could find. I would pick the dandelions in the yard. I would play with my dollhouse and color in my coloring book. I didn't care about cleaning house or doing dishes, washing clothes or making money. I cared about the things I could handle- the things that were my size.
Now that I've gotten older I've gotten this crazy idea that I can and should do everything- whether it's "my size" or not. I take on projects bigger than what I can handle. I feel guilty for not doing everything when I should be worried about simply doing "something". Why do we do that? Is it because the bigger we get the more we feel we can handle? Just because we're adults we should be able to tackle any problem or project that comes our way? That mentality has left me drained, tired, frustrated, and yes, OVERWHELMED.
So why can't I get back to the little things that really matter? Enjoying time with family and friends, helping a neighbor in need, teaching the kids in my church to love Jesus passionately, and taking time each day to talk to my Father in heaven. God doesn't require us to do everything. All He requires is that we are willing to do whatever He asks, and He promises it will never be more than what we can handle with His help. We make life so complicated when it's really as simple as a child gathering dandelions:
Pick up what you can handle instead of taking on the world- and the weeds in this life will slowly fade away.
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